I invented a new poetry form. I call it “scammer text.”
Next time one of those scammers texts you, scam them back by writing a poem inspired by their unhinged and/or obnoxious attempts to collect your personal information. This will not prevent them from trying again, but you’ll have a good laugh at their expense (and maybe a tiny bud of empathy for them will appear on the rough branches on your soul as you imagine them forlornly copy/pasting their name into a text riddled with syntax errors).
Here’s one I wrote last week.
Hello Samantha
.
This is a message from your
[car insurance provider/. We
Have updated your policy thank
You
My name is Margaret you can call me
To discuss policy change. Please,
Send bank info by text
This is Margaret I am happy to helf
To help you please call directly, your
BANK account needs more fund$.
You ewill be charged a $ 5000
Fee to cancel your policy.. renew for
Only $ 35 today to avoixd charge.
This is Margaret from your
[insurance name
Thx for ur help
Aamantha this is Margaret I need
Your help., send bank info to this text
Or I can”t keep ur docsXX secure
Thank you for your busimess
You are A gooD friend
I am Margaret
In the spirit of poetry month, please share your own inspired “scammer text” poems with me in the comments!
My favorite thing about this poem is the last line.
This is hilarious. Now an odd question, are you trying to make it look like you computer is infected with malware with all the glitches near the end?